Lately, life here at our place has been crazy. Chris was recently injured at work, which meant I was in charge of Tristan. All of him. The lifting, the carrying, the feeding, the changing of the diapers, the picking up & dropping off at day care, wonderful world of baby. And Chris too, as he couldn't do anything except lay on the couch and be in pain. I have to be honest, by about the third day of taking care of both my "babies", I was exhausted. Not to mention I'm a working mama, so I get to deal with all of that, too. Ok, not only exhausted, but just plain irritated.
I had a bad attitude. I'm really good at that, folks. But, I'm working on it. Which leads me to this post. We were playing blocks with Tristan yesterday, and it really got me thinking.
What's really worth it in my life? I get so caught up in making sure I control everything, and I really mean everything. It's a gift of mine to make organization out of chaos, but usually our greatest strength can also be our greatest area for improvement.
As I sat their watching my son figure out blocks for the first time, cheering him on for pushing them over, I was happy. Content. In love. I have an amazing gift to teach my son everything I know, and that includes a relationship with Christ. A real one, not something you hope to attain someday when you're a better person, older, or have time for it. But to have one now, to show him through my actions and life that I have a personal walk with my Savior.
I hope everyone hears me on this point: I'm a sinner. I always will be. I'm not perfect, and in fact, there are times I really like to sin. Because...wait for it...I'm human. It's good to know though, in the times when I'm drowning in self pity and being a total flakey person in my walk with Christ, He sticks with me. Cheering me on. Helping me. Loving me. And this, friends, is real. I feel it.
Tristan, you're already teaching your mama so much. I can't wait for the day you love Jesus like mommy & daddy, too.
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